A Christmas Without Performance

Wednesday, December 24, 2025

The holidays have a way of whispering expectations long before we realize we’re listening.

Be there.
Do more.
Stay longer.
Push through.

Christmas, especially, carries a script. Traditions, gatherings, meals, schedules, and unspoken rules about how much you’re supposed to give of yourself in the name of love and togetherness.

But the body you live in now may not recognize that script anymore.

For those of us living with chronic illness, autoimmune disease, or ongoing pain, the holidays aren’t just busy. They’re demanding. And the cost of “pushing through” is rarely paid in the moment. It shows up days later. Sometimes weeks later. In flares, exhaustion, emotional depletion, or the quiet frustration of needing recovery time long after the decorations come down.

This is the part no one sees.

We often measure showing up by how long we stayed, how much we did, or whether we matched the energy of the room. But what if showing up meant something different now?

What if showing up meant listening to your body before it had to raise its voice?

Boundaries during the holidays are often misunderstood. They’re seen as withdrawal, distance, or lack of effort. But in truth, boundaries are what allow connection to continue. They are what keep us from burning out completely.

Choosing to leave early.
Saying no to one more event.
Letting someone else host.
Skipping a tradition that no longer fits.

These are not failures. They are acts of care.

There is a quiet courage in disappointing others so you can remain intact. It’s not about being difficult or selfish. It’s about understanding that your body keeps the score, even when your heart wants to please.

Presence is not measured by endurance.

You can be fully present in shorter moments.
You can offer love without overextending.
You can choose simplicity over spectacle.

Perfection is exhausting. Presence is sustainable.

As this year comes to a close, I invite you to reflect gently. No judgment. No pressure to change anything overnight.

What has your body been teaching you about pace?
Where has slowing down been an act of wisdom rather than weakness?
What rhythms are no longer negotiable?

If you find yourself craving support as you navigate these questions, you don’t have to do it alone.

You’re welcome to join my free Facebook community, Autoimmune Women: Life After Diagnosis, where we talk honestly about boundaries, energy, and living well in a body that asks for care.

And if you’re ready for a more guided next step, my From Diagnosis to Direction Roadmap offers a gentle path forward when everything feels heavy and unclear. It’s not about fixing you. It’s about helping you listen and choose what comes next with confidence.

On this Christmas Eve, I wish you a holiday filled with as much peace, rest, and presence as your body allows. However you celebrate, may you feel supported, seen, and gently held.

Protecting your energy is not pulling away from life. It’s how you stay connected to it.

One step.
One flare.
One breath at a time.