May to September

I don’t even know where to begin except that I have been living in pain and functioning! How you ask?! Well, It started with cleaning out my MIL’s house we bought for her… HOLY HOARDER!!! I began May with organizing and throwing out so much “STUFF“… This was our 3rd time decluttering and I did it all myself. Imagine throwing away 40 13 gallon bags filled to the max. That was the beginning of over using my hands. We wanted to put it on the market to rent for the summer of permanent. So like every other GEN X we go speeding to get it done…. Once again I am reminded of how being a GEN X and Suck It Up attitude doesn’t fit someone who has Rheumatoid Arthritis and slowed down. I spent the next couple of months going over and cleaning it out one room at a time. Let’s just say I now have a garage of her stuff that still needs to be gone through.

You now are wondering why do I not have any help…? My husband started a new job in May and his time was very limited. I’d put bags, boxes and miscellaneous garbage in the garage to be brought to the dump. Now it’s about early June and I have accumulated a tremendous amount of stuff labeled “look at later time”…. At this point I am losing mobility in my hands and the pain is unbearable… this is when I decide I am not going to go the “STEROID” avenue. I have damage already and I am waiting for the insurance to kick in as I am dwindling down on my medication.

This what I learned during this saga of pushing to hard and not taking steroids.

1 – I was able to work through the pain with breathing methods and journaling out loud to my phone. Some days I will admit I would cry and feel the feelings saying this flare is temporary till I get back on my medication because by the end of July I had ran out. Plus, ASK for help!!!!

2 – I was grateful daily that I was able to not take steroids because they are the drug that we all love but has horrible side effects…

3 – Mindset works… I became very good at practicing compassion, grace and forgiveness during this time.

4 – Self talk… I was changing the narrative in my head pretty regular. I wanted to feel sorry for myself, however, I knew this was temporary and I would come up with solutions for situations that were causing me difficulties.

In the beginning of August I had my first appointment since losing my insurance and I am back on track with my medication… (There is a story about medication I will share in my next entry).

So as of today I am on my way again back to remission (hopefully) doing more than I have since June… Life is good.